cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.

              Now I know that it has been awhile since I have written, and at first I had this grand idea that I would be writing about the amazing time at World Changers or Camp or even the crazy shenanigans that have went on throughout his summer. Yet, if anyone knows my spontaneous life, you know that when the itch comes I am going to scratch it ;).
           So at 3 o'clock in the morning, after trying to sleep and being attacked by our loveable new dog Tee-bow (he can't sleep anywhere but my bed which is a twin) WELCOMETOMYLIFE, I am on the couch and watching a movie"The Women". Now as you know 3 is not the greatest time to find a movie or to not be able to sleep ie. there aren't a lot of options. mix this with a lack of space ( I'm literally writing this on top of this huge oaf) coupled with the lack of one hand (the other keeping him still so I can actually write). Rolling out of bed after the 3rd time of Tee-bow jumping up; I zombie walk into the living room, plop down, and turn the t.v. on. As I scroll through, I actually find a movie that isn't almost over and begin to watch. I am shell shocked.  "The Women" is about this rich beautiful woman who's husband has an affair, and yet the movie is based on this woman's close friends and how they are all dealing with the situation. at first I was mildly interested, hoping that something would lull this bear to sleep and yet long after the dog is conked out I am glued to the t.v.
             The Cliche characteristics between men and women are absolutely unoriginal. these women are gossipy and dramatic, and each one represents a different type of woman: the Lesbian, the Soccer Mom, The Suit, and the Shining Mother Next Door. She has everything going for her and every woman can seemingly relate to her and yet her husband cheats on her with an irritatingly sexy clerk (Eva Mendez) who has no remorse for what she has helped create. The movie felt like it could have been created by bitter angry women. What really kept me into the movie is the horrible shallow reason that they have seemingly created for the man for cheating.  

He wasn't getting any at home.  

         I know that this is crass, and maybe I should just stop now but it thoroughly irritates me how many women use that excuse for a reason that he cheated. That shallow excuse that he can't help it. Ugh.  that bothers me soooo much. Why do we use that excuse as an out? Why do we subject men into animals AND for women we label them as sluts and homewreckers. I hate this idea, and I hate the idea that it is a double standard for women and men. It should be the same, and as men, don't let people subject you to that idea. you can help it. obviously you helped it for some duration of your life. 

 AAAANNNNYYYYWAYYYSSS... that was my life last night, something I just couldn't hold in. As always.  This is the life of an almost graduated college student!

Pride comes before a fall...A response to the responses of Obama's political endorsement

        So this will not be funny. I will do something I promised myself I wouldn't do on here and yet here I am: angry, irritated, and more than a little disturbed by the turn of events that has blown up my facebook in the past week. Obviously, if you have an inkling of what I am talking bout... or if you have turned on any channel besides disney, or heard any type of conversation, I am discussing the topic that Obama brought up... his blessing for LGBT marriage.
    Once again, Obviously I have heard each side: the supposedly "right wingers" who are outraged at the possibility that 100000 bagillion years of marriage is going down the train, and the "left wingers" who are rejoicing at the possibility of getting the crazy upside down part of life many people call marriage... bahahaha okay so that was a little cynical and anyone can sense my frustration about this. As a Christian, I come from a standpoint that I feel many Christians are failing to realize, our job is to love, to be compassionate, we were not called to be political revolutionaries...  We are to be like Jesus and Jesus was not called to be a political revolutionary. I do not feel like I have to put my beliefs on Marriage because guess what, it doesn't matter. Whether I believe in it or not, does not make the matter go away, become absolute or anything... but I can speak out and say that the way we as Christians are handling this idea is wrong.
         We are called to love, and yes I wholeheartedly agree with the idea that we should be accountable for our actions and ministered with righteous judgement... but you cannot judge someone who is not already a Christian. That is beating a dog for not carrying you like a horse...and if we are called to love, and called to preach the gospel... this is not the way to go about it... condemning them already to hell with surefire brimstone and hell. and once again... if they are a christian how is screaming at them for thier sin any worse than the pride and false righteous indignation that people are having any better? I will be the first to say it isnt. Something needs to changein a big way, or we will see a dramatic decrease in the christian population; more so than we already have. Rachel Held Evans said it best when she wrote

"We are ready to lay down our arms.
We are ready to start washing feet instead of waging war."

        This is what we are called to do. We are not called to be political revolutionaries, or vagilintes, we are called to be lovers of christ. Maybe we need to remember that ? 

So I didn't exactly write this... buuuttt

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

by Rosemarie Urquico

Nevermore...

           1st of all,  it has been way to long since I have written in this blog and seeing how I don't have anything else to do besides (hw, study for finals, brush my teeth, put makeup on, did I say study for finals?, clean my kitchen) I felt like I should stop neglecting this high important blog. So here I am, pretending to be a critic and giving my unappreciated, 4 year bachelor's degree opinion.

   So last night I felt almost like a real college kid. I went to a 10:40 showing of a scary movie. Almost meaning...
1. It was definitely before 12...
2. it wasn't really a scary movie... Welcome to "The Raven"

 it sucked.


         Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best choice of words but it was definitely not what it could have been. I went in expecting the movie to be dark and hold a sort of sinister or skin crawling atmosphere worthy to The Raven or The Masque of the Red Death, yet it was more gory and disgusting than creepy. John Cusack did give a interesting perspective of Poe, as arrogant and narcissistic yet he didnt keep the personality throughout the whole movie. His lover was weak and irritating, (in which we all kind of rooted for her to die) and the only part of the movie that truly made me happy was his pet raccoon and the fact that I could quote the whole poem (due to the fact that my teacher in 11th grade made us memorize a stanza every time we got into trouble, all 18 stanzas...in a week. Thank you Mr. E.) At which point I am pretty sure Megan was ready to slice me with the pendulum... baahahhahaha see what I did there... (if you didn't, read The Pit and the Pendulum).

       I also got really excited when I could name the stories that the killer used. Once again, I felt that it was my duty to point out every single story because of my 4 year degree in a really annoying voice. Insert sarcasm. overall, the movie was disappointing, not at all like Poe, but it was amazing to forget about grading, doing homework, and actually do something other than frantically search for graduation dresses (not your fault francie), and grade Freshman's attempt at papers.
 it was beautiful. 

15 things you didn't know about me....

                  Oh my life hasn't really been that amazing... ehhhh you know, after spring break, who could top that? So, this is supposed to be about my life and the crazy/hilarious things that happen to me, and since there hasn't exactly been anything that has been amazing, I decided to do the overused cliche thing that allll people do at one point in their life and post 15 random and maybe insightful things about me.

1. I absolutely love to watch any T.V. show or award show and gossip incessantly about it like a little girl. 

  Yes this is my life... especially The Voice, it is like one of my favorite things to do actually. I totally become this irritating 9th grade girl who giggles and talks about the most superficial trashy stuff like what Christina was wearing or how how Adam looks in his cardie ;). I snarkily judge who is the better singer or who wore what dress better. don't judge me, it's cathartic for me. 

2. I can't exactly paint my nails. 

yeaaaaa.... It's my lot in life. I end up painting my whole fingers and toes, lt's pathetic I know, poor Francie and Megan end up doing it for me all the time. I have to beg and plead and make them feel bad for not helping a coloring challenged kid. P.S. I also can't braid my hair!

3. My name is Samantha Land and I hate Grammar. 

Why yes, I am an English major... Yes, I have taken the worst Advanced Grammar class ever, and passed. I hate it.(No judgement on Professor Hill's part, I loved the teacher-hated the class) I hate having to follow rules, Obviously, if you have seen my wardrobe you would understand that. I never match. I never use Grammar correctly. I write the way I speak.... if I pause there will be a comma, if I make this huge run on sentence because I am nervous or really excited, if there is a million and one dot dot dots... it's because I feel it. Welcome to my rebellion.

4. My love language is food. 

I love to cook. I love to eat. I love to feed people. Hungry? Get at me.

5. One thing I am proud of is my cookies. 

They are the best. unless you are allergic to peanut butter... then they aren't.. because you will probably die.

6. I am extremely awkward sometimes. Ok, all the time. 

         Sometimes I can conceal it and act normal and I know most people believe they are awkward but, I really am. Like if I feel like I am in an awkward situation such as, I don't know what to say or you just tell me something really sad? Ooooh you better believe I am no help. The good news is for the first problem I can usually just talk through it. Bahahahahhaha it's my life, once  my roommate Sunnee came into our dorm crying and for some reason I thought she was laughing and I was like "Bahahahhahahahaha Sunnee that's the worst laugh ever... your face looks horrible." Ehhhh not my best moment. 

7. I am scared of whales...and snakes...

I firmly believe that it is because my older brother Henry made me watch Orca instead of Free Willy. (For those of you who don't know Orca is like the Whale version of Jaws.) I am just saying, If it was between a Whale and a Shark? I will gladly throw myself into the Shark tank and get eaten. There is no rationality to this. 

8. I hate being picked on about my accent but I totally love to use it when I know it can get me out of trouble. 

Yes, that is a double standard. a little bit of hypocrisy, and yet I might as well right? People take me for being ditsy and cute in which I can get away with just about anything. It is pretty hilarious actually. I can say whatever I want to certain people without them catching the sarcasm or taking a second look at what I am saying. They smile and call me cute :D they gush about my accent. :D I really am not a bad person, I use my power for good I promise ;) I only use it when they make fun of my accent first. 

9. I want to write a book. 

I want to write a book about my life in Mayo Fl. I want to write a story about my family. I want to write about my crazy adventures, my amazing grandmother, random peoples stories I meet, People I have never met, people I will one day meet. Places I will one day go or imaginary places worthy of Jk Rowling and Tamora Pierce. 

10. I seriously contemplate that I am adopted.

I have 4 brothers and sisters and I look nothing like them. They are short, tan, and absolutely beautiful. I am tall, white, and Cute. Well, maybe not tall but taller than them! Also, I don't act like anyone in my family.That is kind of sad.

11. I am addicted to Word Bubbles.

yes.. It is true.. and it is pathetic. I feel soooo smart when I make it past 2000 points. :D

12. I am vindictive...

I don't know why.. but I will get even. It isn't a pretty trait, not one I am proud of, well sometimes, and it seems to get a little crazy. Once when Francie, Nick, and Megan watched 3 episodes of Lost without me, (just so you know we were supposed to be watching them together)I got incredibly angry  and watched 8 episodes without them. If a war is started you better believe I will finish it. 

13. I believe in spontaneity 

I got my first tattoo because Beth Telg was going to get hers and we all went to watch. Countless classes have been skipped and memories have been made because of the spontaneous adventure. It is also one of my catharsis's... the thought of an adventure makes me so excited!

14. I don't trust men with a southern accent.

it is used for evil. 

15. I wish I had brown eyes.

Solely for the purpose of someone singing brown eyed girl by Van Morrison. I have always wanted that. always. Instead I got eyes the color of rocks, that's what my kids used to say to me when i worked at the daycare. 

Welcome to my life. 

the Steel through the Fire.

           So I can't promise I will have much humor in this, I can't promise that this also won't become some irrational throw up on a blog that I usually hate reading. You know the ones that you are like ehhhhhh poor  girl, get a hobby and get off your blog? bahaha or the 14 year old girls who talk about how awful their life is when they have to go to school where their crush now knows that they have written his last name everywhere???
    Well my life has been an extreme downhill run this past week, just when I felt some kind of normalcy. From my computer charger being stolen, to all my teachers assigning some huge assignment, to every part of my car breaking, my life has been a mess. it is kind of ironic how fast your emotions can jump, last week was amazing my spring break was absolutely incredible, and yet between my roller coaster of life I seemed to keep my calm until today. Today was it for me, it just happened, something snapped and the worst possible thing happened.

Huge Meltdown!

    Oh it happened alright... if you can picture hysterical sobs, whole body shaking, nose running, and accidentally almost loosing a contact. In the middle of this please picture me in my car with all of southeastern's extremely put together and emotionless robots walking by staring or trying hastily to pull out their iphones. notmyshingingmomenttosaytheleast........

                  But with this craziness in my life, these ups and downs, highs and lows..whatever irritating cliche I can come up with I have been able to see the good in people. The good as in, the people who actually care, who actually do more than just pat me on the back and walk awkwardly away...(Believe me I am the queen of that because I am so awkward at depressing times anyway) but the people who actually call Starbucks 3 times to make sure the barista checked and rechecked that my charger wasn't there... the teacher who graciously allowed me to do my presentation at a later date without the horrible questioning of is this really just you trying to get out of it??? the ones who brought the books to you and let you keep them all day so you didn't have to run around campus all day. the ones who made you laugh and cook you dinner... the ones who listen to you cry and pathetically whine and still nod at the appropriate times... the one who calls to make sure you are okay and the one who makes the trip over to make your life better.... 

      So my life hasn't been great, and I have complained and ranted and raved and thrown fits and cried.... but sometimes you have to get all of that out to finally see the silver linings... to see the people who are rooting for you and helping you along your journey through this crazy life. It makes me completely humbled and grateful for those people, and for the few who actually made it to the end of this blog. It wasn't hilarious, it wasn't inspiring, it wasn't even anything completely new but it was something that after wading through all of that CRAP that happened to me this week, has come to me.  kinda like the steel through the fire. 

The End Is Near.

              So in a world where there is reality T.V. on every channel, where nut cases are a dime a dozen: ie Swamp People, Ax Men,  The Bachelor, and 16 and Pregnant, you have one show that seems to really focus on the Crazies. A show that plays on the fears of people who watched too much 2012, Left Behind, and SYFY or for some of these High Class people, they never even seen a T.V.
                Yesterday, During my chill/cleaning day, I went through my parents DVR passing the hunting shows, the TLC shows, and Adventure Time I came across the winner of them all- Doomsday Preppers. Oh Imagine my surprise. Now it surpassed my wildest expectations, it had layers upon layers of crazy mixed with the obsessed with a hint of redneck. Let me sum this tragic, yet wildly entertaining show up for you. These people go around interviewing the different Hoarders/Preppers/ prophetic people who believe wholeheartedly in what they are preparing for. The Apocalypse.
               Now the debate is not exactly when (Because obviously it's going to happen between now and the harrowing 2012) but it is How. Yes I know... How many ways can we die? A. Some believe there will be an economic collapse in which the streets will be corroded with evil police and raiders coming to steal, kill, and destroy. Those are the fans of the Kirk Cameron's Left Behind Series. B. Others yet believe that some catastrophic natural disaster will wipe the U.S. out and cause the A to happen all over again, and yet still others believe that C. A solar flare will cause all of the electricity to forever die and once again... A will happen. Basically A is inevitable.
              Some of these people are definitely Redneck and yet some are average people that you would never  guess to be this fanatic. One family is from Jacksonville and own their own restaurant and live in Surburbia Heaven. They own over 50,000 pounds of food-that my friends is an elephant. They have an elephant of food in their 4 bedroom home. Another man is selling Condo's built in a missile storage for over 1 million dollars, He is also a real estate agent in Kansas.While another family has built 21 century fortress out of steel cars from the railroad. This is also the man who has taught his livestock to "bug out". A woman has completely sterilized her whole home for the next big "Pandemic" and last but not least the next Crocodile Dundee has taken to the streets to prepare for life in the urban wilderness. Now all of these things are completely extreme, and yet if I am going to be completely honest... I am pretty sure there have been times where I have contemplated the idea of

What if?????

             What if the unthinkable happens and the Crazies where right? I mean isn't that always the way??? In 2012 John Cusak meets Woody Harrelson and doesn't believe his nonsensical jabber about the end? In Left Behind no one listens to the black Preacher who looks kinda like Chris Rock? 

What would I do? 

Would I just take my fate and die like the millions? 

Would I want to take the lot of being the only sane person on the island?

      The good news is  that from what the experts say on "Doomsday Preppers" we have about 6 months to ponder this everlooming disaster. So everyone pack your "bug out" bags and from what doomsday prepper Jason says: Remember to bring Salad Dressing.

The simple things in life.

         Sometimes the most amazing things happen in the most unlikely places. Yes, that was cliche and overused way to many times, yet it fit my day yesterday to a Tee. It's that one moment that completely throws off your day and makes you stop and thank the man upstairs, or like me, laugh and say

"you trying to tell me something?"

       So the day started out like any normal college spring break, woke up, drank some coffee, wrote a blog and played on Facebook. Oh you know.. the usual...It felt like home actually, all us "Youngsters" barely able to stand up without our coffee and by 12 we were ready to take on the world, or maybe just Panama City Beach. From Fish Tacos... to Zach Whits baby... To adorable puppies with a pedophile owner....To the most amazing Jewish man named Crazy Steve.

      First of all, let's backtrack and explain my life, I am a senior with a major in English. For the 99.9 percent of my readers, you all know this :D. Yet, what you probably don't know is that I have about a 30% chance of getting a job, and for the most part when people actually ask what I wanna do, I have no idea what to tell them. I don't exactly have a grin on my face when polite people ask that question and the not so polite "why?"

               I don't have an answer for you, honestly I would love to write.

 I would love to teach.

 I would love to travel. I

 would love to help people get published.

          I would love to go on and get my masters. Once again, the nice people smile awkwardly and say that is a great dream honey. (Honey is the word for idiot in the south... we don't believe in hurting peoples feelings.)  The not so nice people shake their head and tell me to change my major quick or I will work at Starbucks my whole life. 

         So now that you are all caught up from my crazy rant...From our Crazy adventures in PCB we ended up in a high class Prep Boating store because these redneck backhilled Port St. Joe boys needed another Guy Harvey shirt. So of course, Francie, Jessie and I (being the only girls) take a tour through the store, wandering, laughing oh you know the cool stuff. In the middle of our wanderings we run into this old man who was the manager of the store. First he asked the normal questions with his faint french accent "Here for spring break?" "What College do you go to?" "Where are you all from?"and the whole time he makes direct contact... taking the time to actually hear us.

 It was a little intimidating. 

           So of course we tell him the answers to which he says... Oh you are Christian? (Learning we go to a christian school) now I am not one to throw that word around... and for the most part I cringe when people ask that question, because usually that comes with a highly derogatory statement or eye roll. Here is where he begins to throw us: 

Oh I am Jewish. Do you hate Jews?

         To which we hastily answer we love Jews! Crazy Steve then begins to relax and go through the preliminary questions stopping and actually conversing with each of us. In our group we had 3 ministry minded  majors and he seemed to get a kick out of that! His questions were genuine and he began to really question them about their life, their motives, and their goals. Then he moved on asking questions to Francie and Jessie. It was amazing, it was like he knew exactly what to say to encourage us and push us. Finally after the intense discussion about religion, he stopped at me. 

And what is your major sweetheart?

         Now my major is definitely not anywhere near theirs. I don't want to build an orphanage, I haven't found my life calling in some distant land, and I can't preach sooooo..... I smiled politely and simply said "I am the rebel of the group...I am an English major". Now refer back to the top of this blog and you will understand my thoughts on how this conversation would have went. Too bad Crazy Steve had a different plan. 

Favorite 3 Authors GO!

         Please try to imagine my surprise..." ummmm.....ehhhhh.... well Austen... definitely Austen,  I love her! along with the Bronte Sisters! Maybe add some Dickens," He smiled and got excited began telling me I have to go to England...I have to experience life.To understand my Calling, I have to stand where they stood. Now this man doesn't have to tell me this... It is what I have always wanted. As he spoke to me his excitement for my life seemed to make me feel something I haven't felt in a while. Like someone believed in me. Someone supported me. 

Masters?

         I want too. I laughed at this, thinking of money and life make me cringe but he kept telling me how IMPERATIVE it is go. you will never feel whole until you have went Sweetheart. Go to England, Study there... Get out! the fact that he seemed to speak the thoughts that I try so hard to conceal because it isn't rational, important brought out the most amazing sense of adventure. that I really could do it. there was more he said.. more he went on to say but this was what I kept close. 

       as we left I told him I will never forget those words... He will always be the man that gave me the courage to speak life into my dreams. He smiled and said that was what he was here for. 

You know... I believe it. Crazy Steve spoke life to me.

   

Lobsters, candy apples, bricks, flames, strawberrys... let's just say red.

Red... as in my whole body. 

Red... as in sunburnt..

Red... as in not the brightest crayon in the box... just the reddest one... hahahahahha

    That did crack me up. Not even gonna lie. So this is my last spring break: Meaning this is my last chance to do something amazing, awesome, absolutely insane, something I have never done. Well.... the something I have never done is peel and boy do I think that is gonna happen. But that is okay, this is what I get for trying to beat an Indian at their own game... 

 Now Francie Burgess is my roomie... she is also Indian, who lives on the beach. Not the best person to get into a "letsseewhostannerhhhaaaahahha" contest with this spring break.  and yet here I am, Defeated, in excruciating pain, and completely red from head to toe. The road to this tragedy is a sad slippery slope in which if I wouldn't have been greedy and actually went through the tanning process like I should have, I still would have lost but would have been happier and tanner. From a sad unfortunate soul, here are some tanning rules 

1. PUT SUNSCREEN ON! listen I know that you want to be tan.. I get it.. believe me, but atleast screen the sun a little bit... I'm not sure what the difference between sunscreen and sunblock is but if we are just going by the names, screen sounds like the ideal item... tan and yet golden not flamin.

2. WHEN YOU FEEL THE SUNBURN, GET OUT OF THE SUN!  pretty self explanatory... need an example.. look at my back!

3. WHEN YOU LAY OUT ALL DAY IT IS PROBABLY NOT SMART TO GET INTO THE TANNING BED. ughhh not my brightest moment but you have to understand. I have a bit of a stubborn side along with a competitive side soooooo I REALLY WANTED TO BEAT FRANCIE!

4. IF YOU DO GET INTO THE TANNING BED, IT IS PROBABLY NOT SMART TO PUT BABY OIL ON AGAIN. dumb.. dumber.. dumbest. 

5. DO NOT COMPETE WITH A BROWN PERSON IF YOU ARE A GOLDEN PERSON. keep your competitions inside the bonds of your skin color... lol more importantly... do not go into competition with anyone. 

yes this is my life... 

Bad Boy Image

            Soooo.... I just finished watching "The Voice" and I have to say the things that run through my head during that show shouldn't ever be put on the internet. ;) especially about Adam Levine! OOOhhhh that man, he makes me grin, and I know that I am not the only one. Pretty much any girl I talk to says the same thing, in more words than one about the beauty of Team Adam, but the question is really why?

     Why is that small bodied, scruffy man with a high voice seem to make everyone woman's knees weak?

            With the help of his abundance of beautiful tattoos, I have come to the conclusion that it is this bad boy image that makes us sigh in contentment, giggle uncontrollably and all believe in conversion. The way that he swaggers in, doesn't take one look at poor Christina Auguilara's cleavage, and doesn't take no for an answer. he looks like he has no care in the world, and when he actually does turn his chair... that man gets what he wants.
          Now as a girl who usually isn't swayed by hardly any man who comes around, this man sends me into a bubbling mess that makes 13 year old girls look grown up! From what "He's Just Not That Into You" tells us, it is from the fact that our parent's told us that when boys are bad they actually like us. Young boys mean comments when we are young turn into  now offhand nonchalance seemingly turns us on.In my life, I am pretty sure that I still hold a hateful grudge against a certain burly man who went by the name of Bear...he also resembled one now come to think of it. .
                         What "Cosmo" tells us is we are just overcompensating for our self consciousness..I am pretty sure that Christina Auguilara doesn't have anything to be overcompensating for with her boobs hanging out, as she throws herself at that beautiful man....I mean let us just be real. She oozes sex appeal. Like maybe a little too much, like you know when you pour a slurpee and it comes out the top and you get really irritated because you can't clean it up fast enough so it runs down your hands and makes them really cold. yeaaaaahhh
                 Froid tell's us that we are obsessed with our father and the authority figures... ummm I think that is it because Half the time in Lit Theory I am doodling and dreading my Spanish class..begging God not to have him call on me.
                And yet honestly, I think that it is just the fact that not enough guys step up and actually become confident in themselves. That the only time we actually see them step up is during this dark, intimidating, devil may care attitude and it is something we are attracted to. It is hot. Just like Adam Levine.

Embrace your inner Disney, never know what you might find...

              So today, I decided to watch Mulan in honor of a poor unfortunate soul who has not been in tune with their inner Disney. Now as I sit here and relax, trying hard not to do Literary Theory in my head and analyze every situation, I don't fail butttt. Instead of deconstructing it or trying to genderize it, I begin to compare myself.

Do not laugh at what I am about to say.

      Now by no means am I fighting in a war, have a great lizard to give me wisdom or falling in love with my hot teacher, I do have a great Granny who at times reminds me of her own Grandmother. I also have  More so  I also feel that through this horrible teenage angst that seems to be corroding the whole movie there is this desire in me to be immeasurably hardcore and epic. Where is my chance to become like Mulan, Katniss, Tris, (I.E. Hunger Games and Divergent) to do something to change the world and be...what is the term...LEGIT? Obviously, this is a little exaggerated seeing as it is Disney and Fantasy buuutttt part of me relates to the heroine aspect of these stories. I want to do life myself and not have someone constantly SAVING me... I want to be strong, Independent, resourceful and better yet I want to be what I write about.  I don't want to write a character who is everything I want to be, I mean come on that is pathetic! I want to write about someone I can relate to, someone who everyone can relate to or aspire to be like.
         Part of us, doesn't want to be Cinderella who is taken care of by her Godmother, or Sleeping Beauty who has 3 fairies who do her bidding but we want to be Mulan, who fights, or even Belle who is brave. I mean for all of you who know me, can you see me sitting down and letting some one else do something for me? pshhhh noooooo thannnkkkk youuu.
GET ON MY LEVEL! to break it down... I want to be brave. 
         And the great thing about that is sometimes, its not about fighting and overcoming those crazy, impossible obstacles. Sometimes it's the small things like goingtogetyourcarfixedbyyourself.... or killingthebuginthebathroom!!! Now I am not ready to see a whale or have a pet snake.. that's outrageous but it is in the small things. I just hope that when my adventure comes I actually take it, or the opportunity arises I jump because that is what this is really about.
             Once again I realize that is romanticized and I am totally living in a fantasy but this is what we learn to want. Let's just be real, I can't even write a good blog daily and my last ones have been more rants than funny buuuutttt lol sometimes College life isn't as hilarious as we make it out to be... our stories are just accumulated over time :D It is fun though to sit and process my day through this, yes some of my stories are exaggerated.. but listen my life is exaggerated k?Welcome to my world. 

BAM

               So I have been in a bit of a pickle lately. My life has been crazy, as you can see, and in the past the way I deal with Crazy is usually with a good book, comfort food, and being alone. I don't know, I am a huge people person but when it gets really stressful I just need a get away. Now usually this means I find myself in the nearest Barnes and Noble, BAM,  and Immerse myself with the beautiful books. At this point sometimes even Target or Walmart. Since I was born (it feels like) I have been surrounded by books, From my ever wonderful granny who read to me the greats:

Briar Rabbit, 

The Hobbit, LOTR

All the classics.

          To my Aunt Laura, who provided a million and one books in her house, they literally surrounded my room and to my horror today, most where cliche horse books such as

Thoroughbred

Heartland

Saddle Club

Pine Hollow

       To my Aunt Cheryl, who worked in the library and lovingly kept me up to date with my "cool" books. So many Countless ones. And last but not least, My mother who supplied my need for books, mostly because I owed every library in the tri-region over 30 dollars for lost books and I now had to buy from the bookstore. There is only so much your aunt can do before you just get banned from the library. 

      Sooooooo... back to my story about the pickle... I have been in a funk where I don't want to read. Now for me to say that is like saying Gandhi wanted to kill people and the Kardashian's don't believe tanning beds.

NOT POSSIBLE 

      It has been since Christmas, It was like my world stopped and I was alone. Narcisistically It felt like every good book had been consumed by me and I would never again find a book that I would love. Yes, I was being a little over dramatic buuuutttt lets just be real, I was a walking zombie who didn't care for anything. I would pick up a book and barely look at it. I questioned my life, I became this moody depressed kid who ate all the chocolate and sat watching Desperate Housewives with Megan. it was pathetic.

          Till my friend gave me a book, "Such A Pretty Girl" ( you should all read it!) I became obsessed, stayed up till 5 reading it. -Not a pretty sight, curled up with my lamp, pacing the house at 3, eating all the chips in the house and getting them all over my bed, finally waking up with crumbs and the book plastered to my face in the morning... not my best or brightest morning. and now I am back, unfortunately that means I have been in BAM all day curled up in their extremely uncomfortable chairs reading "Divergent" and drinking tea. Yes, I am that girl that you awkwardly pass by when trying to buy a calender. inside she feels like she looks nonchalant and kinda hipster, on the outside she looks like one of those Star Wars Freaks or even Worse Harry Potter fans.( bahahahahaha its okay I am one of them and I will let you decide which) Combined with being a College kid and no money, I have to drive myself to this bookstore and read there because I can't make that 15 dollar purchase. It hurts. 

               Needless to say, with me being out of my "Pickle" my roomies and me have been my happier and I feel completely whole again... 

       

Superhero-dragracer-peacecorps-the circus

               So today was an interesting day... ( like most of them) in which I skipped my first class and hung out with Professor Deborde instead. Now this was definitely not the brightest idea, or the smartest and less bright was to tell her I skipped my class to do this. there was some yelling, some very high angst and a question that made me stop and really think.
         First off, let us rewind to the end of Deborde's morning and the start of mine. Me, arriving at the tale end of  her class to bring her TA and my happy friend "Kristen" breakfast. Sneaking into what was last year her biggest class, now looking like a small group, seemed to take a toll on her today. Obviously speaking this aspect wasn't the smartest thing to do. and yet there I went into which she proceeded to tell me how many people skipped that day, how no one did their assignment right, and lalalalala. Obviously now is not the time to tell her I didn't read for my class today, or that I am skipping my other to catch up. Not my brightest moment.
        Between being reprimanded pretty heavily, being called a party girl, and her turning her ferocity on me, she asked me a question that seemed to stick with me all today. what do you want to do with your life?
ughhhhhh I HATE THAT QUESTION! 
               what makes things worse is I don't have an answer...Nope I have no idea, I have a 3.0 which means its not that high for a position in a grad school... (thank you for telling me that Deborde..) and obviously now is not a good time to ask her to write my letter of recommendation. Am I the only one with this mentality? the only one who skips classes, doesn't always have her work done on time? doesn't make straight A's???? I mean I am curious, I always thought I was just like everyone else I just voiced what others didn't but today I wasn't so sure...
         And let's be honest, I don't always skip class, to be fair this is my second skip of the semester. I always seem to pass by, and I make it every semester but does anyone else do that? Do I really seem to take the lead on being the awful student? Now to be fair to Deborde, no one wants to hear these shenanigans from a student, and yes I could do wayyyy better, and maybe have a "set" goal in what I want to do with my life, but that is what college is for,

STAYING UP WAAAAYYYY TOOO LATE...

drinking way to much coffee... 

sneaking off campus for taco bell

watching the sunrise from Starbucks

becoming friends with your teachers

random road trips to the beach

random road trips anywhere

learning to take really good notes for the guy next to you so he can return the favor when you want to skip

playing hooky to do something totally random and awesome

making friends 

being real

figuring out who you are. 

        This is what I seemed to have picked up in college. Once again, probably not anything that you are supposed to but this is our last hoorah at being kids, we are stuck between being teenagers and adults and sometimes you have to live. This is by no means degrading what she said to me... I needed to hear it, and soon I need to decide what to do with my life whether it be a teacher, a superhero, join the peacecorps, or last but not least... the circus.

Tamar

i stand before you with your items

defiant,shaking in my shoes, and unrelenting

are these yours i ask?

From everything that you have tried to take from me, 

tried. 

Once again

are these yours?

In your eyes, my second chance was cursed by me.

But it was not a second chance at all, just a measly spill of milk, of honey, of promise. 

i didn't deserve this. 

All i wanted was a future and yet you declined it so momentarily. 

and yet in one moment I gained it back.

So i ask again, are these your items??

I never meant to lie, to cheat the system but you left me no choice. 

it was this or die and I chose the high road.

The one where I dressed up my shame

put on my best brokenness 

and slipped out of my dignity

and you so readily took these from me. 

So I ask one more time are these your items?

The Finer Things in Life

            This week has been pretty uneventful, I mean compared to the ones I have been having lol, nothing has really stood out that made me feel like the whole world should hear. Obviously, that is why I write these blogs bahahaha. Today I introduced a poor unfortunate soul to the finer things of life in college. If anyone has any knowledge of me, this could range from a whole number of things, many of which I would rather people not share but, today I did my civic duty to the world and introduced this girl to Tea Largo and the most amazing thing ever: skipping class. 

       Now listen, Do not be judging me on my past times, and Professor Kirk if you are reading this, yes that was your class.1st: I am truly in remorse for my actions and yet I did hear from a small birdy that you called me out in your class. 2nd: I will not call out the poor unfortunate soul that skipped class with me... that will go to my grave :D. To everyone else, it was quite magical and it made me nostalgic of my past skip days lol so here is a  brief history of my ever skip days from birth to now:

1. The first ever skip day that I remember is when I figured out that if I had more than three bug bites in the same vicinity I could claim chickenpox and go spend time with my granny and watch little mermaid 1093r8343084x times and bake cookies. Bahahaha my poor mother, by like the third time I yelled chickenpox, she told me if I really had it the nurse could send me home...

2. Anytime that Caleb was sick...that was my excuse... Which resulted in a whole bunch of paper view movies, me attempting to cook, and lot of Gatorade. then mom coming home irate that the house was a mess and Caleb no where near better and still in PJ's. 

2. High school years... that was just a pile of skip days, lets just be real. lets all put them together and say skip life between Kristen Hurst, Melody Rubio, Brandie Marlenee, Tracy Blue, Jessica Williams and me having cars, boys, tans, emergency cry fests, spontaneous movie nights, we never went to school. I am pretty sure Mr. Hancock (My principle) called and informed me "rather curtly" that I would not be graduating if I skipped one more class period. 

3. Freshman year: Charice Spencer, Stephanie Kurtis... need I say more? umm Ferris Buelers day off, pouring down rain, running to the store for snacks and not moving from the back room the whole day. OR Sex with Mom and Dad on MTV.com because we couldn't watch MTV in the dorm room!!!! OR our many shopping sprees in which we would totally try and not let Steph by sweats with palm trees on them. 

4. Sophomore Year: Beth Telg and Sunnee oh dear lord... shopping all the time! me and Beth went to the mall at least once a week! 

5. Junior Year: Hello Katie Waddell... contrary to popular belief, the influence of our many excursions and tea largo moments! ooohhh Brit Lit!! We never went, I don't exactly know how I passed the class.. 

6. Senior Year: passing down those memories lol... 

Just reading this, I promise I am not a bad person. Just letting people know how great skipping can be... 

p.s. Kids don't try this at home.

Better than Disney World

          What an amazing weekend so far... I don't think I can begin to describe it... OMG!
So first up Friday Night My friends Ngoih and Katie went on a mini road-trip to Orlando to see the most amazing band ever...THE CIVIL WARS!!! Be jealous, Be very jealous.
               Let me just say, it was like Christmas. I don't even really understand what came over me and ngoih because obviously Katie was just fine but, we were like 10 year old kids who just got a pony. At one point, Ngoih was sinking in her seat repeating over and over "I cant take it, I just cant take it." and obviously, I wasn't much better, screaming the whole time, making guttural sounds that kind of resembled a whale dying and I am pretty sure at one point I might have cried.
                                                        no judgement.
        OK so let me fill you in, I had never actually been to a concert, I mean Rebecca St. James when you were like 7 doesn't really count... no offense Rebecca. Ngoih was obviously in the same boat, while Katie was this experienced cool kid who had been to every single concert imaginable. Ngoih and I were inconsolable, to say the least; if one of us was not squealing, we were grasping each other tightly with the light of the sun in our eyes...yes I just said that. I am telling you; Christmas or Disney could not have been this magical.  The seats were amazing... we were like 8 rows from the front, and though that does seem far I am pretty sure me and John Paul White made a connection.

 LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. Obviously.

     I don't think I stopped shaking the whole time. You know those 14 year old girls who go nuts over JB (Justin Bieber)??? I Became Those Girls... I screamed the songs, I jumped up and down, I practically drooled at the sight of this amazing duo. It was so funny because she is sooooo quirky and goofy! She danced around John Paul, singing waving her hands like a tree and the chemistry between those two was epic. there are no words to describe them.. He just stared at her, rolling his eyes, and casually making sarcastic comments while they flirted on stage. I was sooo jealous, but in a good way, you know like when youseeacutecouplethatweremeanttobeandyourlikeomgiwanttobethem????

It ended so suddenly that I was sooo sad... just like Christmas. bahahaha you know what I am talking bout, crawling into bed on Christams night and being like wait wait wait... I was just in here.. but anyways, it was magical and here are some links to the amazingness that I experienced 

http://youtu.be/MZhIm-XtZIk

http://youtu.be/3AR5rJ_-dN0

http://youtu.be/N70OQhgHQWU

Death in a handbasket

Obviously, today was not my day... 

obviously, this week has not been my week...

 and obviously, this has not been my month. 

                       I firmly believe that it is all due Spanish. Yes, I said it; my car breaking down, my awful bruise, my Dora mix up, my phone turning off, all the usual awkward moments of my life, and everything that I can't remember right now can all be contributed to: Spanish. I mean lets go ahead and blame anything bad that has ever happened in my life. All 37 of my dogs getting eaten by alligators, All the animals that have casually committed suicide against my car, every time I was late to class, every time I fell asleep in class, every time the cows got out at 5 in the morning and my dad came and woke me up and I had to round them up before class while  showing up in sweatpants and mud in my hair. and you know what, lets go ahead and blame everything bad in the world on this one class: Spanish. oh you know, the starving children in Africa, the awful hipsters who don't wear deodorant, and the worst toddlers and tiaras. yeas toddlers and tiaras is defintely Spanish's fault.
                  So why today, rather than Tuesday you ask??? why do I simply hate Spanish and all that it entales? is it because the fact that my professor hates me?? no, I am absolutely certain he isn't the only professor. is it because I have no idea what we are talking bout? no,  because when do I ever??? Is it because of the fact that its almost 2 hours long every Tuesday and Thursday?? MAYBE... but honestly it is what happened today that really made me realize that I hate it and hate it with a fiery passion in my soul.
Professor: blah blah blah blah blah (in spanish)
Sam: *dozing off*
Professor Old: Sam what did I just say?
Sam: ummm.... 
oh it gets worse
Professor: blah blah blah blah (in spanish)
Sam: *looking out the window* 
Professor: Sam when is it okay to say Que and Qual?
Sam:* looks around the room to make sure its me hes talking to.*
Sam: ummm....
Sam: *looks through the book frantically.*
Sam: *hastily looks around the room for support.*
Classroom: *makes eye contact with Sam, trying to give her the right answer through psychic powers*
Sam:*does not have psychic powers, if she did she would not be put in this position for the 100th time*
Classroom: *pen drops*
Sam: well, one sounds like a quail??? one is a bird???
          Once again, this was not the right answer. Did this give him any hint to not call on me? After maybe the 7th time that this happened, did he maybe get the hint that I wasn't the one to call on this week? Maybe that I didn't have it this week?
Professor: Sam, being an english major and all...noun or verb...
Sam: *Now counting how much money i have in my bank account*
so here I have a 50/50 shot at atleast knowing something...
Sam: *confidently* Verb
Professor: um...
Sam: noun?
Professor: adjective
......
this is my life... all the time in there... believe me...
It does not help that our class has dwindled to about 11 people from its 30 last semester... meaning I am his favorite to embarrass and call on all the time. Normally that is okay with me... but in this class I would totally love to lay low and never be picked on ever. ever. ever. ever.
 it's a hard knock life...
good news
CIVIL WARS CONCERT TOMORROW AND SUPERBOWL PARTY SUNDAY
fun blogs this weekend!!!



 

Do not listen to Dora...

Today was a much better day than yesterday. Can we Just say that??? No breakdowns, No bruises (or that I am aware of) I woke up on time... or close to it and I took a quiz in Spanish that surprisingly, I didn't bomb. Today was looking up aside from one small phrase:

Muy Caliente

Now for people who have watched Dora, took any kind of high school Spanish class where the coolest thing to do was profess your love interest in Spanish... Muy Caliente= Hot. Am I right? Did Dora lead us astray??? were we poor innocent High School students decieved? In my college professor's eyes, the answer to my question is yes. Today in class, as we described people to learn superlatives in Spanish, I (always the victim) decides to describe one man as muy caliente. obviously, I mean hot.I mean come on, I am just trying to lighten the mood from: one has black hair, one has blonde, one is fat, one is skinny. Who wants to read that???? I mean honestly, he should have thanked me for being so creative and using my words so wisely. No..... my professor definitely didn't do that either...

Sam:Mac is Muy Caliente y mas guapo que P.C.

I stood proudly, presented my sentence, and smugly waited for them all to applaud me for coming up with such an amazing sentence.

Professor: .......

Sam: :D

Professor: Can you please translate that for us Sam?

Sam: Mac is hotter or more handsome than P.C., Pretty clever huh?

Oh yeas, I said this, huge grin and all....

Professor: that is definitely not what you just said... Sam you said Mac is more umm....*cough**cough* hotter FOR you...

Sam:that is what I said, for than... no big deal.

once again, my blonde streaks began to show.

Professor: No Sam, his tone now more irritated/slightly embarrassed.. I mean, *eye direction pointing downward...hes Happy... like... Hot..as in..

Dead silence

****Lightbulb now goes off in my head***

Sam: ooooohhhhh....well that isnt what Dora taught us?

Obviously that probably wasn't the best thing to say at this point... because now we are both blushing profusely and I kinda can't make eye contact with anyone.

Best part about this conversation though... I definitely didn't get called on the rest of the day and when I walked out of class I am pretty sure he finally let himself breathe again. the things that come out of my mouth bahahahhaha

Oh the day.

So today marked a very eventful/dramatic/overly tearful day of a college student.

1. started with the waking up late (of course) combatted with throwing my outrageously tangly hair into a "somewhat" messy bun, yanking up my pants and while trying to brush my teeth and put some ounce of makeup on. This resulted with me, as I was yanking, running into the wall, trying hard not to scream mild obscenities because as a christian we don't use full on obscenities just casual mild ones such as dangit! shute shute shute!!! fuuuudddddgggeeeee-sickle all the while trying not to wake up my sleeping beauty roommates.

2. As I water the flowers near us by spitting my toothpaste out of my mouth while running to my car, I realize I had forgotten the biggest asset to my life.. my phone. Mistake 1 was not going back to get it but somehow in my mind I decided it would totally be fine, I mean 20 years ago people didnt have phones right? I could be independent, resourceful, who needs a phone?...

I Do.

3. 2 words: Coolant light on...

4. that was three words

5. No big deal... get it fixed after class-get back-hit the books-go to the conference tonight...

yea that didnt happen

6. 226 dollars and 4 hours later, Minor setbacks and yet I still felt like I could handle this.I put on my brave big girl panties, handed over my credit card, smiled bravely, and regretted my decision to not bring my phone once again.

DENIED

Um, sir that can't be possible..

DENIED

...

DENIED

facade evaporated, no phone, I tearfully ask to call my mom from Midas, accepting defeat.

mommycarlightcameonandididntknowwhattodoandibroughtithere

andnowthecreditcarddoesntworkandIamreallyscared

Yep, totally lost my Independence on that one. As the tears threatened to fall, she reassured me, told me what to do and slowly I began to gain my composure. 1 hour later, a now fixed car, I headed back to my apartment.

7. E

For anyone with a Car, with any Car knowledge, or have ever ridden in a car, know this is not good. For anyone that has lived with the pygmy's or transported from the 1700s E is Empty.. Empty is no Gas.. No gas is money that obviously I don't have.

by the time I got home, I had all of ten minutes to change and run to the meeting.

I cried and wailed for 9 minutes of it.

ask my roommates, pathetic. they will definitely tell you.