Confessions of an insecure 23 year old :)

           Well, VBS is over, I taught another class yesterday, I had a best friends birthday, and I was reminded that demons come in the form of small chihuahua named Margo. :) The birthday was wonderful, celebrating in our true style: movies, junk food, scandalous gossip, and everything that friends from the 3rd grade do together. Unfortunately, to top our amazing birthday, we had to watch the devil's mistress-Margo. Which if you could only imagine, hiding on the porch, biting, and me being chased with a broom ;). Classy. Yet, through these adventures I came into a realization of a few things.

         First, I still get uncontrollably nervous during every workshop, but its getting better. I realized why.  It's not that my students are all that different. I have the teacher (normally the mr Feeney's or the mrs. Frizzles), I have the crass but lovable older men and women who curse with big grins on their faces, and the sweet grandmas and grandpas who are there because their grand babies bought them their dang blasted computers or tablets for some event or another. Or that my classes are different. Computer, Internet, Facebook/twitter, and the newly blogging class. But, it's my attitude.  My first class was consumed with my nerves and jitters. Dealing with those, only made my outlook on the class negative. With that negative outlook, my other classes seemed to hold on to that until I did VBS. Being an Oikos leader taught me a few things about myself. It's not about me.

           Seeing my kids, and watching them interact, watching them love each other made me learn so much. It made me realize I wasn't there for me, I was there for them. Then again, it made me realize, my life isn't about me. And so, teaching my 4 students, all at least 30 years older than me, I put my eyes on them. I put their needs over my insecurities.

             And you know what? I enjoyed them. I found out, not sure if I know good or not, that one lady knew my dad. ( they went to church together, which made me question every moment of before hand and to make sure my legs were crossed and tug at my shirt more often than not)   Another man, lived in Lakeland and used to eat on Fridays at a little cafe over by my old apartment. 

          So above all, my day turned out an unexpected surprise. I didn't even want to leave after my time was up. I gave out my number to these people and laughed when they asked me if I would teach a class on texting next.