This Girl poppin out like a daisy :)

         So I am laying in bed, as my house sitting buddy is asleep ( that is Kristen hurst, I might add) and all I can think about is how I need change. Not crazy drastic move to New York change, or the crazy ex girl friend chop off all your hair change, but the healthy change of things and people and thoughts that aren't good for me. 

       It's been on me for a while to do this and yet it's so hard. It is sooo incredibly easy to get comfortable and rationalize where things are going. Like, I can't think about Lakeland, Tampa, or Orlando every chance I get. I have to settle down here. I have to let go of the comfortable, safety of my college life and embrace my adult life here. If I don't, I will never truly let this become home again. 

     Also, I have to let go of the relationships in my life that aren't healthy for me. I can't dwell and try to make things work when they aren't meant too.

       And last but not least, I can't forget I am here for a reason. I may be workin a part time job, but it is the only job I have had that I feel like its home. I am meant for a library. I love those books. I love those people. And I never want to lose that. I want to be life there. I want to be hope. And joy. 

       So this is my New Years resolution. Not that I am going to stop going to Tampa/ orlando/ lakeland because I can't. But, that I will remember, that is not my home anymore. Also, that people who bring me down and keep me the same person, they are gone. And last but not least...I will grow where I am planted.